Comfort Zone: No Tresspassing

My heart has been doing some really sneaky things lately...like loving without informing me first, and making me say the things I really mean to say (even when they may be hurtful, however true), and growing fond of things and those I vowed to [hate]...too much, TOO MUCH I SAY! I feel like I'm going through puberty all over again- which I find to be a very uncomfortable thing to do in your twenties.

Either way, I say all of that to say this. The one thing that will remain a constant in Constance's life is her constant change (and that's not as much of an oxymoron as you think. Those two words fit as perfectly as any two words can possibly be juxtaposed). I'm not running from the change, just the comfort. But the challenge of this task is embracing the change without becoming complacent in it. How do you truly wish to hug someone without wanting to be in their arms? You have to lend yourself to a little bit of complacency so that you achieve a satisfying affect from the embrace. This goes for anything you will yourself to do (or enjoy doing). For example, if I want to enjoy eating dirt, then as I lift the soil to my face to place it in my mouth, I have to have a desire of some sort to want  to experience something about it- the taste, the smell, the texture- after all, I'm the one who wished to indulge in such a treat. No one requested or forced me to do it, therefore it becomes an act out of my own will.Comfort.

But I don't want the comfort. Getting comfortable scares me (in the instance of emotions, matters of the heart, personalities, and relationships). And THAT is why I run to Change. Ultimately, everything changes. It's original state becomes just a memory of what it was or hope of what it could have been. Now, don't get me wrong. It won't always be like this. The comfort zone will always be there, but I'm not ready for it yet. When the season is right, Constance will get comfortable.