Confessions

Dive right in.

1.  I don't do enough for God, but I do so much for myself.
2.  I am wishy-washy and inconsistent..I do not truly live up to my name.
3.  I create "Want To Do" lists (aka Bucket Lists) and don't try hard enough to complete every task
4.  I am lazy
5. I don't pray long enough.
6.  I don't show enough love to strangers
7. Punctuality and I don't get along.
8.  Sometimes I write statuses online about my faith in Christ with partial motives of getting an "Amen" (aka the "Like Button" on FB or a Retweet, a "co-signer"). But those things glorify me, not God. ....talk about selfish...smh...
9. I want to walk to the altar every week for extra prayer, but I stay at my seat b/c of the "judges" sitting around me.
10. I try to be/show myself as honest as possible, sometimes trying too hard, but sometimes, not trying hard enough.
11. I often say that I don't care about what people think about me, but that is something that I constantly struggle with. I only say it  because I have to convince myself that I don't really care about outside perceptions .
12. There are times that I resent my parents.
13. My room is full of clutter. (This is justifiable by my aesthetic approach to life, but there is still no excuse. Artists don't have to be messy.) 
14. I have attachment issues.
15. I have impure thoughts.
16. I am not a great cook. Just OKAY.
17. There are times that I exhibit false humility and am overly modest.
18. I wish I were invisible.
19. There are other things that belong on this list but are imaginary.

     I was enlightened recently about another perspective of the "Bucket List"- not the movie, but the concept (which I have a slight obsession over). I personally think that such lists are wonderful ways to set goals and get things done. But I was challenged to "throw away" the list and "see what sort of adventures the heavenly Father has for [me]". And so, i recognize that it's all about His will; that is God's list for me- His will, and all I can do is pray that I am walking in it while asking Him to confirm so.

With all of these confessions, I have lots to do...

    So, new concept: A list of confessions just might be a bucket list in reverse. Everything that has been confessed can be changed from this point on. Just because it is a confession doesn't mean that it defines who I AM. I've confessed it because I want to be able to tell myself and show God that these things will be a definition of who I WAS.

Come up for air.